Monday, March 14, 2011

Picket Fence Post Blogger Now Back & Ready to Go (Without the Benefit of Adonis DNA)

I may not have one gear, Go!,  as father of the year Charlie Sheen does, but I’m ready to return to this blogging goodness here after my brief break. Having finished editing my top secret manuscript (if I have any news about it, of the good variety, believe me, I’ll share), I’m back to business.

So, what, other than Charlie Sheen’s antics, the liberation of Egypt, the riots in Libya and the ongoing horrors in Japan has been going on during the time I was gone? Well, I’ll keep my summary very basic and very local, focusing on the various oddities and events from the Picket Fence Post household:

As a trio of screenless iPod Shuffles did a few years ago, The Girl’s iPod Nano, which has a screen and is much more expensive than a Shuffle, went through the washer AND the dryer after I, a mother whom me children think is mad with power, insisted that she pick up all the clothing that was on her bedroom floor and put it either in the laundry or in a drawer (NOT under her bed). The Girl angrily put almost all the clothing in the laundry, no one checked the pockets and . . . voila . . . iPod through the new washer and dryer. Thus far *knock on wood* it is still working. We shall see.

It may be March, but the temperatures are still in the 30s and 40s. Not shorts weather, unless you happen to be a 9-year-old boy who knows EVERYTHING and you, the aforementioned power-mad mother know absolutely nothing about what it’s like to be a kid. Nearly every day last week (and even this morning) I had to order The Youngest Boy to take off the shorts he was wearing (along with a T-shirt) and put on pants before going to school. And yet he still donned shorts when he came home from school telling me how very hot it was outside.
. . . You want irony? That same kid mentioned in the previous anecdote, the one who thinks 35 degrees is balmy enough for sports shorts and a T-shirt, turned the thermostat up to 81 the other night while I was making dinner. I’d become worried that I was getting sick or that I was having hot flashes (!) or something as I made dinner one night last week. By the time I’d cleaned up all the dishes and retired to the family room to read a magazine, I was literally sweating.
“Is it hot in here, or is it me?” I asked The Eldest Boy, who reported that he felt hot too. It was he who checked the temperature and reported that his brother had jacked the furnace up to a tropical 81. Maybe if the kid wasn’t wearing shorts then he wouldn’t need the heat so high. I’m just sayin’ . . .
Showering + Children = Complaining, oh the bitter complaining.
Dirty Finger Nails + Son = Complaining that Mom wants everything “perfect” when she tells him to wash his hands and clean under his fingernails.

The Girl amazed me with her bravery when she and a pal performed a song from the Nickelodeon show Victorious at the recent middle school talent show. They did not look scared at all, as they took to the stage in front of a couple hundred people. In fact, they had giant smiles on their face as they bopped around stage dancing and singing. *so proud*
Do not take your kids to see Gnomeo & Juliet. You will not be able to get your 84 minutes back. And by the time you get to the end, you’ll be quite angry about that, trust me.

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